You Are What You Eat

You know why I like posting stuff? Well, because I can talk about things that are on my mind and nobody cares about, or rant about things that a hundred people have already ranted about, and talk trash on those that have royally pissed me off without their consent or knowing. Great, huh?

(Plus, I get to reveal my secret inner self where nobody I know would be able to give me a weird look or call me mentally unstable, heheh)

Most don't know this, or simply don't care, or wouldn't believe it. But I'm somewhat of a cold-hearted bitch on the inside. (Yep, the whole intelligent, out-going, happy-go-lucky me is just a cover, sort of) I should come with a warning label: "Guaranteed to Bite. Please Remain at a Safe Distance at All Times." Sad, huh? Oh well. (Not like I need those meds anyway. Just kidding! ...Or am I? Heheh)

Today's Awesome Picture portrays the yummy gummy bears. Sadly, my unforgiving braces don't make eating them easy. FML, right? Heheh. Well, quick thought. If you are what you eat, and you were eating french fries, would it be a french fry eating french fries or a human eating humans. (If you're human than your food is what you are so your food must be human?) Yeah, I know, only I would waste my time on such things. But still. Interesting, huh? :P

Melancholic Void of My Soul

It's been a while since I've bothered to do anything. I don't even know exactly why I'm posting this. I suppose it is just because I never really intended for this to be seen. Unlike many people nowadays, I'm not going to re-blog or re-post or re-anything. This blog is like my random journal of thoughts, and all the things that nobody would even care about so much.

Today, I am depressed. No, I didn't just break up with my boyfriend. No, I didn't break my nail either. I mean, I'm actually depressed. So, anyway. Here's a story for you all, though I really speak to nobody. Once, there was girl. That girl was me. I always knew I was different, but I suppose I never had it quite in my face as I did in middle school. Rosedale Middle School to be exact. It was Hell at it's best. All anybody ever did was talk behind each other's backs and spread rumors about. It was almost stereotypical, if not totally. I suppose it may not have been that bad, but that is all I remember of it. I never really knew what to make of the numerous insults and hushed words behind my back. At the school I had attended in Missouri nobody ever treated each other so bad. Maybe that is because everybody was so different to begin with.

But anyway, I'm just trying to bring some things to light. Bullying, for one. But that is already very publicized and sensationalized on the media. Yet, there are silent souls out there still, crying out into the night. You don't know what pain is, until it is all that's left.

I used to be a bit of a perfectionist, if not a lot. I would obsessively write in pen and for every word I messed up I'd tear out the page and start over again. I had the perfect grades. I was the perfect student. I was always so perfectly happy. Or was I?

I was, or at least I thought so. I would stay in my room all day. I'd read, write, or draw. Movies? Not really. Fast food? Rarely. Milkshake? Never. Smore? Never. Mall? Never. I guess that's why I didn't understand much on TV, all of the allusions and dream-like pictures flashing across a screen. But I was content in my numb world. It's somewhat amusing that I felt so much and yet felt nothing at all. 

It wasn't until about the summer before going off to high school a year early (Sumner Academy, it's rather advanced and rigorous so you can actually start in 8th grade) that things seemed to spin out of control a bit. I had some friends then, and I loved them all. but one in particular was different in a way that I could not pinpoint. I do not like not knowing things. But something about her told me to run for my life.

(Not literally, but still) She seemed to always know something about me that I did not. Pretty scary. Now, skipping the rest of my long story, we actually went on to be great friends. More surprising because we became close friends. But I had lied by oppression. Guess I should've told her that I come with a warning, huh?

I'm the kind of person that always ends up hurting the people that try to get close to me. If you want to talk casually, with neither knowing much about the other, well, that's just fine. You'd never even notice anything wrong with me. At all. I'd be a perfect, happy, out-going, and slightly mischievous friend. Just don't get too close, because I am guaranteed to bite.

Something good out of any of this? Well, I forget just about everything. I mean that too. I rarely remember anything about my past. Sometimes I wonder if I'll forget my name next, heheh.

But anyway, I just needed to get that off my chest. Now I've got to move on to more pleasant thoughts, lik food. I just reread that and it sounded just as unhealthy as everything I've been saying so far. Oh well. Nothing's wrong with eating several boxes of chocolates. Just kidding. Maybe.

Feel free to ignore this post? I'll return to writing in a happier sense later :)

Weird Ways of the World

People can be so weird, so stupid, and so ridiculously insane. Yep, people might just be the weirdest species out there (other than you).

For one, some people eat some downright unnerving foods. One example would be Sannakji, aka a small octopus. I have heard people describe octopus as tasting like chicken, just chewier. Eh, still weird. But Sannakji gets better. Since most chefs don't have the cubes to kill the lil' fellow, well, they just dice it up real nice. You know, so you don't have to fight it or anything. Bad idea about this is that the tentacles have small suction cups on them, so your food just my choke you as you swallow it. Of course it's going to attack you!

Yum?

But, while that may be disturbing. It's barely even weird anymore. Not with China anyway. Let's skip to a more agreeable topic, like drunk people. Drunk people are the hilarious. Unless it's us, then it's cruel. Especially one, who was arrested, and threatened to eat the police dogs, and their dog families. Interesting.

Well, maybe I'll post something less... strange.. later.  But yeah. <3

Today's Obsession: Dreams!

My posts are going to be random like this, 'cause, well, I'm random like this. Today I'll obsess about dreams. Mostly because I have some pretty weird, creepy dreams (seriously).

Dream #1. I'm struggling to find a good hiding place as I run out of time, due to the fact that zombies were coming. It was only a matter of time before they broke into my house, and I couldn't decide between hiding in the laundry room or in my mom's spacey closet. In the end, I go for the closet and start duct taping the edges so that our (me and my sister) scent could not be detected my the zombies. The rest of my family had already been slaughtered (which is pretty damn traumatic when you have vivid dreams and can hear all the bones crunching and breaking). The rest is basically me hyperventilating in the closet with my baby sister trying not to cry. Ahh, good times? Nope. I've only actually had a few good dreams in my entire life.

What Zombies?

Dream #2. I'm running from the police with my brother in a parallel type universe that is creepy perfect (more perfect than golf courses even). The grass looked fake, and there were perfectly painted white fences everywhere. The sky was perfectly blue. And in the dream, my brother and I hid in a perfectly square tunnel. This all happened after attending a party that had no people, or food, or even decorations. In fact, the house was a skeleton of wood, as if it had recently been burned to the ground and they were just starting to fix it up. This dream was just creepy. Apparently, I don't want a perfectly ideal world. It would be terrifyingly perfect.

Surreal Art

Dream #3. After getting into a fight with a friend on the 13th floor of a building, I'm obviously pretty upset. Now here's the weird part. The room is pretty much missing a wall, it just has a gaping hole into darkness and nothingness. The room itself is pretty weird too. There's a large Victorian-style chair in one corner and lots of random coffee tables and empty vases. Plus, other than the missing wall that opens up to the side of the building, the room has no doors. So, me, being all upset, decide to step off the floor and plunge into the darkness forever. Dramatically, too.

Yeah, 'cause that's totally normal and not weird....

So yeah. I have dreams like this whenever I actually get sleep. I've got this whole insomnia thing going on now. I really just want some damn sleep. I don't care about my dreams as long as I wake up. I need sleep. I've actually gotten used to the blood, slaughter, and overall weirdness, of my dreams.

Badass Graphics

Well, my poor scanner is officially dead, or "disconnected," as my computer tells me. But I'm going to go ahead and add some pretty epic work to this post. My top badass girls and guys :D

#1. This Chick! lol

That's going to be me one day, MK- 47 over my shoulder and two automatic guns in my hands, possibly shooting down zombies and whatnot. Heheh, just kidding. Maybe. Why's this my favorite? Well, it's a girl, that isn't sexualized. Unlike what you see nowadays. I mean, seriously? What badass chick is going to carry all these guns and whatnot, and then decide: armor? bullet proof vest? Hmm, this bikini-style, practically non-existent outfit should do. What's worse is when they have some boobs that must be size DDDDDD (or ZZZ), and my first thought is: Doesn't that kinda weigh you down? Especially in a high speed chase/escape/pursuit? Or is it for protection? I think you could survive several bullets in the chest with boobs like that! But anyway, before I start ranting about half-naked fighter chicks...

#2. Zatanna!

It's not a good image, but it was actually quite hard to search amidst the many fan-drawn, sex-obsessed artwork that is already taking over the net. (sorry, guys, but I'm not supplying you with pornography, sexualized artwork. Google it. :P lol) Well, I think Zatanna is badass 'cause I think magic is badass.

And #3 will be in my next post, when I stop being too lazy! But until then, I'm going to mindlessly play violent computer game that involve shooting zombies and humans! :D Great fun!

Crazy Artists?

Well, my scanner has officially gotten on my nerves, and on top of that I have Artist's Block. So, to take a break from my Artistic Obsessions blog without actually ending it, I'll discuss some stuff that I found kind of interesting. As I was browsing PsychologyToday.com, I came upon an article written by Emily Deans, MD, titled "Psychosis and the Creative Advantage." So, what's the point? Well...

For one, there's a stereotype that follows artist all around. Apparently, we're either depressed hopeless romantics, or somewhat crazy altogether. Artists are eccentric, weird even. Personally, I'm just going to leave it as we're stereotyped as different. But why?

Let's go back to schizophrenia for a second. How could it stay in the gene pool, withstand natural selection, if it were all that bad? I mean, other than schizophrenics getting very busy under the covers.
Well, according to Emily Deans, this could well be because of the creativity factor. Creativity allows you to survive in tricky situations, something that may be keeping schizophrenia around.

There are studies showing that schizophrenics are more likely to have creative children than just regular people off the street. In fact, people who have psychological disorders are more likely to have professions/occupations that are on the creative side. It doesn't really surprise me all too much that artist's are stereotypically eccentric now. And I can't really complain anyway, since schizophrenia and just psychological disorders run in my family. After all, I like my creativity. Sometimes there's just too much of it though, with thoughts flying through my head at 200 miles per hour.

But yeah, that's it for my "break" from drawing frantically and doodling listlessly. When too many thoughts are flying through my head I'm going to randomly post stuff on Blogger that may or may not be relevant at all.

Obsession #1: Comic Art/Graphics

Personally, I love the drawing styles used for comics. It's usually all so very precise, and well, I wish I could draw the same way sometimes. But I have issues with actually drawing characters (apparently I can't draw the same figure more than once. Totally sucks). I'm somewhat of a perfectionist, so I beat myself up with trying to draw like professional artists all of the time. Good news, it's become quite difficult for me to even find a "how to draw" book that can show me something new. Well, that isn't really good news, that just means I need to find another, and probably more expensive, way to learn new drawing techniques. But anyway, before I get off topic.... I've been quite bored these past days, so I've resorted to trying to draw comic-style art (again, technically). This is mainly going to be about, well, my "journey" through drawing styles, or even types of art, and if I can get my scanner to work, I might even post some pics of my artwork. Yay? Well, so far, my "comic inspiration" has come from select comics. Mostly, Zatanna. And yeah, you're probably like, "why do I care?" Well, if you're a guy, you can look at the nice artwork (it involves badass sexy chicks that are usually wearing just enough to make you think about... inappropriate things that you shouldn't be thinking about) Girls, well, you can look too, or laugh at the idea of guys stare at their computer screens like idiots? If it's your boyfriend you even have an excuse to knee him in the cubes. I don't know. You pick :P

Zatanna

But yeah, Zatanna is some of my inspiration, simply because I'm trying to draw a character quite similar to her. So far, I've spent more time crumpling up paper and throwing it around my room. I'm better at drawing male figures, honestly. Drawing girls is very delicate. A few more pictures that have me chewing pencils in frustration....

Witchblade

Danger Girl

Storm

Well, don't get too excited guys. Heh, well, I was going to upload some of my own work for you all to see, but apparently I have to go through this whole process of uploading it to a photo-sharing site and whatnot. So maybe another time? Or at least in another post, since I'm already tired of typing (fail).